Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Think before you Speak...

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."


THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One
day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month- old daughter; she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his
pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember ...
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak.

Friday, December 7, 2007

New review for Autumn Windsong

Review for Autumn Windsong
The Long and Short of it
Review by: Snapdragon
Rating: 4/5
Link to full review: http://longandshortreviews.blogspot.com/2007/12/review-autumn-windsong.html

Colleen Love's Autumn Windsong is a delightful contemporary romance, with its roots firmly in an undoubtably magical past. The story presents a strong and believable sense of a Native American otherworld existing in unison with comtemporary life. Characters and setting both take on something of a dual nature, sharing a hint of that mythological world.

For Alita Wickstrom, contemporary life is far from nine-to-five usual. She is an Alaskan dog musher and has a powerful connection to the natural world of Alaska. She also enjoys and relies on her dogs. She is an altogether admirable female character. Her Beau seems equally admirable, and the reader is positively on their side from the first moment they meet. Beau, who is both a park ranger and something more, percieves the threat that hangs over them both.

The lovely setting, small details like caring for her dogsled team after a run, or the meeting of the two deer, all at a wonderful feel-as-if you were there quality to this hauntingly delightful work. Love is presented as timeless, as well as endless. A very engaging tale.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Chaos week

This week has been complete chaos. Storms, flooding and the flu bug have all wreaked havok on my week. Its been an understatement, to say the least, that its distracting. BUT... dispite it all, the newest book Ive been writing seems to be a blessed haven for escape. Because of the flu, Ive only been at it for little bits at a time, but its coming together so nicely I cant seem to stop! I know its going well when I fall in love with my characters and they feel so real in my head that I can just reach out and touch them. Maybe its the fever, maybe its my muse, but its wonderful and Im taking advantage of it.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Children are Brilliant!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derric k, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and h ave ki ds with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10